


Angel and Demon Voicemail

by mandybrooke27



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angel & Demon Interactions, Angel/Demon Relationship, Arguing, M/M, Married Couple, Multi, Other, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 19:44:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20364067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandybrooke27/pseuds/mandybrooke27
Summary: Aziraphale discovers having voicemail for their flat is extremely useful. Crowley discovers how to irritate Aziraphale with it.





	Angel and Demon Voicemail

**Author's Note:**

> With much love and my sincerest apologies to Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, David Tennant, and Michael Sheen for my mucking around with these fantastically magical and adorable characters.

After several weeks of having a voicemail system in their flat, Aziraphale found it extremely useful for when he was away from home, particularly when he felt Crowley needed instructions regarding something important.

Crowley, on the other hand, enjoyed leaving his own replies to Aziraphale’s messages, because the angel wasn’t there to argue back. Unfortunately, the demon would forget he left the messages at all, and Aziraphale, replaying their voicemail after a long day in the shop, would listen with much confusion and irritation at his partner.

Here, Dear Reader, are a few examples of voicemails the angel and demon left for each other recently:

Saturday, 1:45 pm  
A: Crowley, are you there? Listen, I need you to go into my office and look to see if I left my lucky coin on the desk. It should be next to the tall stack of prophecy texts I’ve been researching. I thought I put it in my magician’s kit, but I can’t find it anywhere. And, yes, I _know_ I could just miracle a new one, but then I’d know it wasn’t _really_ my lucky coin. It’s the one I do all my best tricks with. The kids love it, and I’d hate to disappoint them. Anyway, gotta run! The show’s about to begin. If you do see it, could you please pop it on over to where I’m performing? Shouldn’t take you too long with the way you drive. The address is—  
_BEEP_

Saturday, 2:15 pm  
A: Never mind, Crowley. I found my lucky coin. It was inside my top hat. Underneath Mr. Rabbit the whole time. But if you’ve left already, you might as well drop by the wine shop and pick up a nice bottle of that Merlot we both thoroughly enjoyed last week. Cheerio! It’s magic time!  
_BEEP_

Saturday, 2:17 pm  
C: Glad you found your lucky coin, because I wasn’t going to look for it anyway. Like I have nothing better to do than look for missing coins all over the flat. I had plants to yell at all day.  
_BEEP_

Tuesday, 8:55 am  
A: Crowley, a Mr. Smith will be calling at the flat this afternoon about a rather rare book. I gave him our address, because the book is not at the shop at the moment, and it’s rather busy here. Would you be so kind as to buzz him up and give him the book? It’s the one in the far-left bookcase, um, third shelf from the bottom. Lovely brown leather cover and gilt letters on the spine. _This Knotty and Thorny Subject of Witches_ it’s called. I’ve given him a price, and he is to hand over the funds to you. Please do be careful with the book. It’s rather old. There’s a good fellow.  
_BEEP_

Tuesday, 4:15 pm  
A: Crowley, I just received word from Mr. Smith. He said my partner took his money, but would not allow him into the flat because he looked—in your words, apparently—“like a knob in his black suit and ugly tie.” Honestly, Crowley. He only wanted the book. And now, he must wait until I can bring it with me to the bookshop tomorrow. How inconvenient for both of us. You’re so trying sometimes, you know that?  
_BEEP_

Tuesday, 4:16 pm  
C: Really, Angel? I’m a demon. Of course, I’m trying. It’s what I do. And the guy really did look like a knob.  
_BEEP_

Wednesday, 3:55 pm  
A: Crowley, I’ve just run into Anathema Device and Newton Pulsifer outside the bookshop. They’d like to have dinner with us this weekend. Said Saturday evening would be best for them, and I thought it sounded like a jolly time. Look, I know it’s not your idea of fun, but Anathema and Newton seem like fine humans to get to know better. I mean, you did run over Anathema with your car, after all. The least we could do is bring them dinner. Why not find a recipe for crepes in one of my old cookbooks? Although, they’ll never be as good as they were in Paris in 1793. You remember. When—  
_ BEEP_

Wednesday, 4:00 pm  
C: Dinner? Ah, no. No, no, no, no. I’d sooner spend an eternity in a pool of boiling sulfur. Which I did, by the way, and it wasn’t as much fun as it sounds. Angel, I think you’re trying too hard to get involved in humans’ lives again. We don’t need to do that anymore. And even if we did, you shouldn’t put all your biscuits in one basket. There are other humans we can acquaint ourselves with. Wait. _Biscuits_? In one basket? That’s not right.  
_BEEP_

Thursday, 2:15 pm  
A: Crowley, did you pick up the eggs like I asked? I want to make the crepes as humans do, not just miracle up a batch from thin air. The mundane ones always do taste so much better. Oh, and you’ll need to get a bottle of milk. Um, and some nutmeg and maybe a dash of cinnamon. And whatever you’d like for a filling. I’m not picky. Although, that strawberries and cream filling we had in Paris was simply scrumptious. You know, maybe we should just pop across the Channel and buy a batch from that café. You know the one. I think it’s still standing. No. No. We’ll cook them ourselves. So, if you could be a lamb and pick up some eggs, that would be—  
_BEEP_

Friday, 11:03 am  
C: EGGS! That’s what you don’t put all of in one basket. Not biscuits.  
_BEEP_


End file.
